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A guide to thoughtful behavior. When someone you know dies, or faces a death in their family, your first instinct may be to help- but you may not be sure of what to say or what to do. It is natural to feel this way. One of the highest privileges you can accept is helping a friend or family member during their time of grief.

This booklet has been prepared to guide you on the proper etiquette of funerals and visitations, so you will feel more confident, knowing your actions are appropriate, and welcome. It will also give you some helpful advice on how you can be of Freitag case to the bereaved.

While you may feel hesitant about intruding on the family during their grief, the condolence visit is important. It reassures the bereaved that while their loved one is gone, they are not alone; that while they have suffered a great loss, they are still connected to the living, and that life will, Freitag case, go on.

When should I visit?

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Immediately upon learning of a death, intimate friends of the family should go to the home of the mourner to offer sympathy and ask if they can render any service. There are many ways you can be helpful, by providing food or assisting with child care, making phone calls or answering the door.

You may make a condolence visit at any time, before the funeral or after, especially in the first weeks following the death. If you call early you may certainly pay another visit to let the bereaved know they remain in your thoughts.

You may prefer to visit the family at the funeral home. This setting may be more comfortable for you and the family, as they are prepared for visitors.

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The newspaper will provide information about calling hours, or you may call the funeral home for instructions. How long should I stay at a condolence call or visitation? You need not stay long; fifteen minutes gives you enough time to express your sympathy and offer your support.

Of course, if the bereaved indicates they would like you to remain for a while, take your cue from them and stay longer. Use your own judgment. If you feel your presence is of comfort, offer to stay as long as the family needs you and you are able.

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What should I say? Using your own words, express your sympathy. Kind words about the deceased are always appropriate. Depending on your relationship to the family, you may say something like: He was a good friend, and I will miss him very much.

They may say things that seem irrational or pose questions that have no answer, and the kindest response is usually a warm hug, and a sympathetic, "I understand.

Do not ask the cause of death; if the family wants to discuss it, let them bring it up. The family should be allowed to make their own decisions without influence from well-meaning friends.

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Customs may differ among various communities, ethnic groups and religions, and we have tried to indicate a few of the most important differences here.

Please feel free to contact us for guidance, as we are well versed in the customs of many faiths. For more details, you may also refer to a more comprehensive guide, such as those by Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt. Mourning in the Jewish faiths. In families of Jewish faiths, interment of the deceased usually occurs within twenty-four hours of death, at which time the family returns home for a seven-day period of mourning.

The first days of mourning are reserved for the family; friends usually wait until at least the third day to visit. Calls are generally made in the evenings or on the Sunday of the week of the death; calls are not made on the Sabbath from Friday afternoon until after dark on Saturday.

Remember, customs will vary depending if the family is of the Orthodox or the Reform Jewish faith. Please ask us if you need guidance. A formal visitation provides a time and place for friends to offer their expressions of sorrow and sympathy. This practice is most common among the Protestant and Catholic faiths.

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Funeral Etiquette